Mission 11 - Find the source of the anger. Find my father.

I tried. I tried to quit the blog after the heroes show ended in season one. Not because I didn't still love the show. No, it was more that it impacted me deeply. Until this show, 'Run'. I see the pain that CLAIRE BENNET goes through in the show. In fact, even though I shouldn't tell you I understand completely. I have never known who my real father was. And, I didn't care before. Until just the other night, maybe it was the conversation, or maybe the searching I've been doing in myself and where I want to end up in 10 years. I understand more than anything the anger, the utter rage she felt. Was it abandonment issues? What brings this rage? Was it what i think happened in my childhood, the childhood I sought to escape so many times later on in life, with alcohol, drugs, whatever. Maybe telling stuff about yourself isn't a good thing. But I don't care anymore about that. I need to get this out, so the next mission is to find out. Where does the source of the anger originate? Is it common among those who have felt this way, experienced this? The isolation. The disassociation. The Depression that comes from nowhere. Sometimes I sit and watch a show and think to myself, why did I care about that show? It's just a tv show and then the realization comes again. You can't run from it. And the anger, it can consume you like we see with Nikki Sanders. Why am I telling you this? I thought I could quit the blog. A new mission is born. Somehow now it seems important to find my father and to understand the source of this anger. Mission 11, is to find others that feel this pain, perhaps we can help each other understand. I thought, I could quit this blog. But we cannot run, even when everything we thought was true was a lie.